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What 2023 Has Taught Me about Endings and Other Things I Got Up To

Endings are Necessary

In 2023 I said goodbye to many things and many people. I said goodbye to my job as the Head of Finance after almost 5 years with Alliance Insurance as a consultant and later a full-time employee . I resigned from my roles as council member, member of council Exco, member of the Remuneration Committee and Chairperson of the Audit, Risk and IT Governance Committee of the Central University of Technology. I closed the doors to my Lesotho-based consulting business, Inspire Innovation and said goodbye to the two places I had called home in the past eight years - Maseru and Bloemfontein. In the process I left behind people I love and relationships I valued, former employees, former colleagues and friends I'd made in the corporate environment and my beloved family and friends. In making my decision to leave and say goodbye, some of the questions I asked myself were: Have I achieved the objectives that I had set out to achieve in this role? Do I think I have learned what I had set out to learn from this experience? I am open to continuing to learn more from this experience or am I satisfied with what I've gained from this experience? Am I willing to continue to pour out my energy and passion into this experience or have I given all that I can give to it? Have I put the necessary structures in place to make the transition smooth not just for me but for the people I leave behind?

All these questions were instrumental in helping me make the decision to say goodbye, guiding me on when the right time to leave would be and what I needed to put in place to ensure that I don't leave behind any unfinished business.

I didn't always have a positive relationship with endings things and saying goodbye. Having lost my parents at a young age, I had always seen loosing people and environments I am familiar with as a negative thing. And even though I'd had the courage to pursue my dreams and opportunities in life, it was only in the past two years that I developed a positive relationship with endings and goodbyes. In the absence of seeing change as positive, I would tend to hold on much longer than I needed to - to business relationships that were not working out; to friendship dynamics that were not good for either myself or the other party; and to experiences that I had outgrown. And even when I had made the decision to end something, the pain of loss and the doubt of whether I had made the right decision would haunt me for a long time. I had to learn to recognise that a bad relationship with endings and goodbyes is disempowering as it keeps us from making positive progress in our lives.

Some of the books that were catalytic in helping me reframe my perspective on ending seasons and saying goodbye were Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud and Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeust. I now understand how to process when it's time to say goodbye, and most importantly I have the tools to know HOW to approach my goodbyes and to "close the curtain" gracefully. This doesn't just apply to big changes, but may be applied to how we transition from one season of life to another.

“Pruning is a necessary part of life. You will produce more ideas in your life than you can go after. Prune them. You will have more friends and acquaintances than you can manage. Prune them. You will have more product lines/business ventures than you can afford to keep alive. Prune them.” Maputi Online.

Put yourself out there and embrace every opportunity that aligns with your goals and values

This is a lesson I continue to carry with me from year to year. This year provided me with numerous opportunities to network and engage with professionals from diverse backgrounds and to continue to use my voice for impact and positive change and to continue to grow and develop as a speaker and a moderator on business and leadership-related topics. I was the Day Chair for the Institute of Internal Auditors South Africa's Central Region Summit; a speaker at the Standard Bank Insurance Brokers (SBIB) Women Executive lunch; speaker at the WNFN's women's month event and the program director for the Annual Professor Wiseman Nkuhlu Lecture hosted by ABASA and the University of the Free State (UFS). As a proud alumna of the UFS, I continue to contribute to its initiatives aimed at bridging the gap between university and the corporate world, to bring the workplace to the classroom. I specifically partnered with the Career Services team by speaking on "A Career in Management" at the UFS Economic & Management Career Week 2023 and I recorded a podcast for the Season 7 instalment of the UFS Career Podcast.

It takes a while to develop a voice, but once you have it, you damn sure better use it on stuff that matters - Oprah Winfrey

Additionally I was invited as an observer for the Rhodes Scholarship selection of a scholar from the Botswana, Lesotho, Namibia, Malawi and eSwatini (BLNMS) region. The Rhodes Scholarship is managed by the Rhodes Trust to provide scholarships for young people to pursue studies at the University of Oxford. This opportunity was very enriching, and meeting with the some of the brightest young people from the region affirmed my passion to invest in and create opportunities to shape Africa's next generation of leaders, and to no limit my influence to only one country but to continue to expand my reach and impact across the continent because the same problems and needs I see in my country, exist in other African countries (even if they may manifest a bit differently).

Whenever I am exposed to opportunities such as these ones, I am reminded of being a 22 year-old article clerk and writing down a vision of who I wanted to be as a professional and leader and I am reminded how taking small steps to get involved, to hone my skills and having the courage to put myself out there continues to move me closer to the vision I have for myself. And so as we step into 2024, in a new city, in a new role, in a new environment, I am reminded to continue to put myself out there and to say YES to every opportunity that aligns with who I am.



Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I am a passionate leader, accomplished professional and a mentor. I believe that nation-building depends on how well we build people. Therefore, my mission is to contribute to the personal, professional and leadership development of people to empower them to reach their highest potential.

I do this through a mentorship program that I founded and through this blog where I share principles I've applied and insights I've gained in the past twelve years of my career and leadership journey.

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